How is church supposed to help when religious people have hurt me?
This is part of a series giving an overview of theology and Neighborhood Church’s doctrinal statement. (Introduction, The One True God, The Lord Jesus Christ, The Holy Spirit, The Bible, Humanity, Salvation, Church, Christian Life, Angels, Satan, Demons, Future Life)
Have you ever driven past a church building and wondered what really goes on inside those four walls? Maybe you've thought about visiting but weren't sure what to expect. Or perhaps you've had experiences with church that left you hurt or confused. If so, you're not alone—and we want you to know that church is meant to be so much more than just a building or a weekly gathering.
You Are Beloved
Before we dive into what church really is, there's something important you need to know: if you're reading this, it's not by accident. Whether you're curious about faith, searching for community, or nursing wounds from past church experiences, you are here because God loves you. This love isn't based on what you've done or haven't done but is rooted in God’s being. Throughout the Bible, followers of Jesus are called "beloved"—not just people, not placeholders, but deeply loved by God.
Romans 1:7 addresses believers as "beloved of God," and Romans 9:25 quotes the prophet Hosea: "I will call those who are not my people, my people, and her who was not beloved, beloved." God's love reaches people from every background and situation.
As Colossians 3:12 puts it, those "chosen of God, holy and beloved" are called to "put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience." This is the kind of community church is meant to be.
Church Hurt Is Real, But So Is God's Love
Let's be honest—anyone who's been around church for a while has probably experienced some form of church hurt. People in churches are still people, which means they're imperfect and sometimes cause pain through their words or actions. If you've been hurt by church people, we acknowledge that pain and we're sorry it happened.
But here's the thing: the church belongs to Christ, and He loves His church so much that He died for it. He loves you so much that He died for you. The hurt you may have experienced is real, but it's not the end of the story. There's something greater coming—a promise that one day we'll experience perfect community with God and each other, where sin and hurt are finally gone for good.
What Church Really Means
The word "church" comes from two sources that help us understand what it's really about. The original Greek word ecclesia means "called out"—like soldiers called out of their regular lives to serve their king, or citizens called out to serve in government. As Christians, we're called out of sin and into righteousness to glorify Christ. We have a specific purpose, both as individuals and as a community.
The English word "church" comes from an old Germanic word meaning "belonging to the Lord." Originally, it referred to property set aside for worship—like our church building here on ten acres. It's not wrong to call our building a church, but ultimately, when we talk about church, we're talking more about people than about a place.
God is more concerned about saints than He is about sanctuaries. It’s not that buildings don't matter, but people matter infinitely more.
The Universal Church Made Local
According to our church's statement of faith, "There exists one true church which is called the Household of God, the Body of Christ and the Temple of the Holy Spirit. It is comprised of all true disciples of Jesus Christ and is created by the action of the Holy Spirit. Tangible expressions of this church are found in local churches."
In other words, there's a universal church—all believers everywhere, throughout history. But that universal church is made real through local churches like ours. In the New Testament, the word "church" appears 114 times, and 90 of those times it's used in a local context.
If we want to see the universal church thrive—if we want our brothers and sisters around the world to continue making great strides for the gospel—one thing we can do is be a healthy church right here. We can be a loving church here, a praying church here, a church that makes disciples here.
We Need Each Other
Here's something that might surprise you: you can't really be the church by yourself. Jesus called twelve disciples and lived with them, suffered with them, and loved them to the end. He didn't do ministry alone, and neither should we.
We often meet people who say, "Yeah, I'm a Christian," but when we ask what church they attend, they say, "I don't." While it's possible to be a Christian without being part of a local congregation, there should be something in your heart making you miserable about that situation.
That story is common and even common among folks who call Neighborhood Church home. We’ve been there—we’ve forsaken the church at times in our life and said, "I'm done." But God, in His love, showed us truth and restoration through the church community we were running away from. There were people in our life who said, "We love you, and we love you too much to let you continue the way you're going."
It's powerful to have people pray for you. But it's even more powerful to have people know you intimately and still pray for you.
The Body of Christ in Action
1 Corinthians 12:12-31 gives us a beautiful picture of how the church works. Paul compares the church to a human body—many different parts, but one unified whole. Just as your foot can't say, "Because I'm not a hand, I don't belong to the body," every person in the church has a vital role to play.
Some people are like hands—they want to get things done, fix problems, take action. Others are like eyes—they see the big picture and focus on what's happening around them. Some are like ears—they listen well and are aware of their surroundings. Still others are like feet—they want to move, to go places, to take the next step.
We need all these different types of people. A body full of just hands would be weird and wouldn't function well. God arranged each member of the body as He chose, and 1 Corinthians 12:26 tells us: "If one member suffers, all suffer together. If one member is honored, all rejoice together."
Your gifts aren't primarily for you—they're for the whole body. We need each other to function well as a church.
Love Is Our Distinguishing Mark
Jesus said the world would know His disciples by their love for one another. When people in our community see us at our neighborhood meals, at the Shindig, or at other events around town, we hope they don't just think, "Those are people who hang out together." We hope our testimony is that we're people who love Jesus and love each other, and that it's obvious we love Jesus because we love one another.
1 John 4:7-21 makes this crystal clear: "Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God." It goes on to say that if anyone claims to love God but hates his brother, he's lying. You cannot love God without loving your fellow believers.
This kind of love isn't always easy. Colossians 3:13 tells us to bear "with one another" and "forgive each other, as the Lord has forgiven you." We're going to need to ask clarifying questions, examine our motivations, and communicate clearly and kindly. There will still be misunderstandings and problems, but when they arise, we go and make things right.
The Foundation That Makes It All Possible
None of this works without the right foundation. In Matthew 16:13-19, Jesus asks His disciples, "Who do you say that I am?" Peter answers, "You are Christ, the Son of the living God." Jesus responds, "On this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it."
Before the church can be built, the statement must be clear about who Jesus Christ is. He is our head, our foundation, our everything. When we follow Him, we know we're moving in the right direction.
Your Heart Matters Most
Before we act in love toward others, before we offer guidance or wisdom, we need to search our hearts and ask: Am I doing this from a place of love for my brother or sister? Am I motivated by genuine care, or am I seeking recognition for myself?
If our actions are designed to get our backs patted or to bring praise to ourselves, then we don't really love others—we love ourselves. Motivation and heart are crucial in the life of a believer.
What's Your Next Step?
Maybe you're reading this and thinking, "I need to make a relationship right. I need to seek restoration." Maybe you realize you've been trying to do the Christian life alone, and you need community. Or perhaps you're just curious about this thing called church and want to see what it's really about.
Whatever brought you here, know that you're welcome. We're not perfect—we're still growing, still learning to love like Jesus. But we're committed to being the kind of church where people can experience God's love through genuine community.
The church isn't ultimately about buildings or programs or even sermons. It's about people who've been called out of their old lives and into a new purpose: to love God and love each other in a way that shows the world what Jesus is like.
We'd love to have you join us on this journey. Because the truth is, we need you. The body of Christ isn't complete without all its parts, and you have something unique to offer.
Come as you are. You are beloved.
This is part of a series giving an overview of theology and Neighborhood Church’s doctrinal statement. (Introduction, The One True God, The Lord Jesus Christ, The Holy Spirit, The Bible, Humanity, Salvation, Church, Christian Life, Angels, Satan, Demons, Future Life)
