Where can I find hope when everything hurts?

Have you ever gone through something really difficult and wondered, "What did I do to deserve this?" Maybe you lost your job, got a scary diagnosis, or watched a relationship fall apart. In those moments, it's natural to ask: "God, why is this happening to me?"

This is exactly what Job was dealing with in the Bible. If you haven't been following along with our series, here's what you need to know: Job was a good man who loved God and tried to do the right thing. But in a very short time, he lost everything—his wealth, his health, and even his children. The crazy part? Job hadn't done anything wrong to cause it.

When Job's friends showed up to comfort him, they started with good intentions. They sat with him in silence for seven days—which honestly sounds like pretty great friendship. But then they opened their mouths, and things went downhill fast.

When friends make it worse

One of Job's friends, Bildad, had a simple formula for how life works: good things happen to good people, and bad things happen to bad people. Always. No exceptions.

So when Bildad looked at everything Job was going through, he came to what seemed like an obvious conclusion: "Job, you must have done something wrong. Just admit it, turn away from whatever sin you're hiding, and God will make everything better."

Bildad even went as far as to say that Job's children died because they were sinners who got what they deserved (Job 8:4). Imagine a friend saying that to you after you'd lost a child. That's not comfort—that's cruelty disguised as wisdom.

This is what we call "bad theology"—ideas about God that sound spiritual but actually miss who God really is and how He works.

The problem with assuming the worst

Bildad's theology makes a dangerous assumption: if you're suffering, you must be the problem.

This way of thinking shows up everywhere, even today. When someone's kid rebels or walks away from faith, we hear people say things like, "Well, if they had just homeschooled them..." or "What did they expect would happen?" When someone gets sick, loses their job, or goes through a divorce, we start wondering what they did to bring it on themselves.

But here's the truth: no matter how hard you try, no matter how much you do right, there's no such thing as a perfect life. Good people don't always finish first. Bad people don't always finish last. Sometimes the worst employee at work gets the promotion. Life isn't always fair, even when you're trying to follow God.

And honestly? That's actually a good thing. Let’s explore why…

Looking in the wrong places

When Job was hurting, Bildad pointed him to history and tradition. "This is how it's always worked," he said. "Listen to what wise people have always taught" (Job 8:8-10).

But Job didn't need more human wisdom or opinions. He didn't need people telling him what had worked in their experience. He needed to be pointed to God.

We make this same mistake all the time. When we're struggling, we scroll through social media looking for inspiration. We ask everyone we know for advice. We read self-help books and listen to podcasts. And while some of that can be helpful, none of it should be our first stop.

When we're in a pit so deep we can't turn right or left, the only place we can look is up. The first place we should go isn't even to our pastor or our closest friend—it's to God. We can take our pain, our questions, and even our anger directly to Him. He's big enough to handle it.

Then, after that, we bring our struggles to wise people in our lives who will point us back to God—not to their own opinions or experiences.

The “kindness jar” theology

Here's another problem with Bildad's way of thinking: it turns our relationship with God into a transaction.

Think about it like a kindness jar where you drop in a coin every time you do something good. Fill up the jar, get a reward. This is how many of us secretly think God works. We believe that if we just do enough good things—go to church, pray, volunteer, be nice to people—then when hard times come, we can cash in our coins. We’re basically saying, "God, look at everything I've done for you. Now you owe me."

But this creates an impossible question: how good is good enough? If God is perfect and holy, and we're comparing ourselves to His standard, we're always going to fall short.

We can't put enough coins in the jar to earn God's grace. We can't do enough good things to earn His love or protection from suffering.

Fortunately, God knows this. And He made a way.

We need a mediator

This is what Job was wrestling with in his pain. He knew he couldn't stand perfectly before God on his own. He asked, "How can a person be right before God?" (Job 9:2).

Job understood something profound: he needed someone to stand between him and God. Someone who could bridge the gap. In Job 9:32-33, he wishes for an arbiter—someone who could lay a hand on both him and God at the same time.

Here's the beautiful part: we have what Job was longing for. The Bible tells us, "There is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus" (1 Timothy 2:5).

Jesus is that mediator. God Himself stepped down from heaven, put on human flesh, and lived a perfect life—not to show us how it's done, but to do it for us. He went to the cross to pay for every sin we've committed. And instead of just wiping our slate clean, He did something even more amazing: He exchanged His perfect righteousness for our failures.

This means our standing with God isn't based on how many coins we've put in the jar. It's based entirely on what Jesus has done.

Why does God allow suffering?

So if Jesus paid for everything, why do we still suffer? Why do good people still go through terrible things?

We might think of it this way: God permits suffering to show us our need for a mediator. Sometimes it's in our hardest moments that we finally understand how desperately we need Jesus—not just for salvation someday, but for life right now.

The Apostle Paul went through beatings, shipwrecks, hunger, danger, and constant stress (2 Corinthians 11:23-28). His life wasn't easy just because he followed Jesus. But he found joy even in suffering because he knew it was worth it. He knew that God was still good, still in control, still working everything together for a purpose.

Questions to wrestle with

As you think about this, here are some questions to consider:

Do you give people the benefit of the doubt? When someone is going through a hard time, do you assume they must have done something wrong? Or do you offer grace and compassion?

Where do you turn when you don't understand? Do you immediately turn to God, or do you exhaust every other option first?

Do you extend the same grace to others that you've received? If you know the forgiveness Jesus offers, are you quick to forgive and show grace to others?

Are you a comforter or an accuser? When someone is hurting, do you beat them up with judgment, or do you put your arm around them and point them to Jesus?

Where is your hope? If you stood before God today and He asked why He should let you into heaven, what would you say? If your answer is anything other than "because of what Jesus did for me," then you might be trusting in your own goodness instead of His.

You need a mediator

The world is full of people beating each other up, yelling at each other, blaming each other. The church should be different. We should be a hospital for the sick and hurting, not a courtroom for the accused.

And the reason we can be that kind of community is because we know the truth: none of us deserve God's love, but all of us can receive it through Jesus.

You don't need to be perfect. You don't need to have it all together. You don't need to fill up the kindness jar. You just need Jesus.

That's the hope we have. That's the foundation that holds firm even when storms rage and life falls apart. Not our own goodness, but His.

If you're walking through a hard season right now, know that God hasn't abandoned you. He's not punishing you. And He's not waiting for you to figure out what you did wrong. He's inviting you to trust Him, even when you don't understand, and to find your hope in the only One who can truly save us—Jesus, our perfect mediator.