Why do Christians talk about humility when the world rewards confidence?

Have you ever noticed how exhausting it can be to keep up with everyone's expectations? We live in a world where confidence often looks like arrogance, where success means outdoing the person next to you, and where defending yourself seems like the only way to survive criticism.

But what if there's a completely different way to approach conflict, criticism, and the pressure to prove yourself?

In 2 Corinthians 10, the Apostle Paul finds himself in an incredibly difficult situation. He's dealing with a church he planted—people he loves deeply—but there's a problem. Some influential voices have crept into the community, undermining his leadership and questioning his authority. These weren't just random critics; they were charismatic speakers who traveled from city to city, saying eloquent things and collecting money from whoever would listen.

They saw the church in Corinth as an opportunity. Here was a wealthy community gathering weekly to hear teaching, and these "super apostles" (as Paul would later call them) wanted in. Their strategy? Make the church doubt Paul. After all, he wasn't even in town anymore—he'd moved on to plant other churches. So they whispered: "Paul's letters are impressive, but have you heard him speak? He's not that great. He acts humble, which is just weakness. We're much better leaders than he is."

The conflict gets personal

By the time Paul writes this letter, the situation has gotten messy. There's been harsh correspondence, hurt feelings, and deep division. Paul could storm in and use his authority to shut everyone down. He has every right to. He's an apostle—someone personally commissioned by Jesus. He literally started this church.

But that's not the approach he takes.

Instead, Paul writes: "I, Paul myself, appeal to you by the meekness and gentleness of Christ—I who am humble when face to face with you, but bold toward you when I am away" (2 Corinthians 10:1).

He's saying, "I'm coming to you with humility and gentleness, not because I'm weak, but because that's how Jesus would handle this."

What meekness actually means

When we hear the word "meekness," we might think of someone who's timid or easily pushed around. But that's not what it means at all. Meekness is strength under control. It's having power but choosing how and when to use it wisely.

Think about it this way: You might know someone who's physically strong but has no self-control. They're quick to anger, intimidating, and their strength actually harms the people around them. That's not meekness. But someone who has strength and knows how to direct it purposefully—that's meekness.

In the ancient world, philosophers praised this quality in leaders. You wanted leaders who were strong and in control of that strength. But here's what made Paul's approach radical: he combined meekness with humility. The secular world saw humility as weakness, something to be ashamed of. But Paul said, "If you look at Jesus, you'll see that humility and meekness go hand in hand."

Living in the world without operating by its rules

Paul makes an important distinction in 2 Corinthians 10:3-4: "For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds."

Here's what he means: Yes, we're human. We have physical limitations. We can only be in one place at a time. We get tired, we make mistakes, we're not all-knowing. But just because we're human doesn't mean we have to act according to selfish human impulses.

It's like driving in the left lane on the highway. You can be in the passing lane without actually passing anyone. You're in the lane, but you're not operating according to its purpose. Paul says, "We're in the world, but we're not operating by the world's standards." The world fights by using arrogance and deceit. Christians triumph through meekness and integrity.

Three things Paul wants for the Corinthian church

Throughout this passage, Paul has clear goals. First, he wants them to be obedient to Christ—not to Paul himself, but to Jesus. He writes about destroying "arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God" and taking "every thought captive to obey Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:5, emphasis mine).

Second, he wants to build them up. Even when he talks about his authority, he clarifies that God gave him that authority "for building you up and not for destroying you" (2 Corinthians 10:8). His goal isn't to win the argument—it's to help them grow in their faith.

Third, he wants to expand Jesus' influence beyond Corinth. He's not content with the gospel staying in one place. He wants the church to grow strong so they can reach even more people in the regions beyond them.

The comparison trap

One of the most striking critiques Paul makes is about comparison. These “super-apostles” were constantly comparing themselves to each other and to Paul, trying to prove they were better. Paul says bluntly: "When they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding" (2 Corinthians 10:12).

When we compare ourselves only to other people, we're playing a game we can rig. We can always find someone we're "better" than. We can lower the bar until we win. But Paul says the only comparison that matters is Christ.

Are we becoming who Christ is calling us to be?

Think about it: Whose measure of success are you using for your life? Are you trying to be the best student, the best employee, the best parent—compared to whom? You can win every game you play against yourself, but what if that's not the game God wants you playing?

The only approval that matters

Paul ends this section with a powerful statement: "For it is not the one who commends himself who is approved, but the one whom the Lord commends" (2 Corinthians 10:18).

This might sound harsh, but it's actually freeing: It doesn't matter how you feel about your life today if Jesus doesn't approve of how you're living. You can't appeal to another committee. You can't speak to Jesus' manager.

But here's the flip side which launches us into incredible freedom: You also don't need to live for anyone else's approval. Not your spouse's. Not your boss's. Not your parents'. Not even your pastor's. The question is simply this: Are you living in a way that honors Christ?

What this means for us

So how do we actually live this out? Here are some practical questions to consider:

What are you defensive about? When someone criticizes you, what gets under your skin? Are you defensive about your own pride, or are you defending something that honors Christ?

Who are you comparing yourself to? Are you measuring your success against your neighbors, coworkers, or other people in your life? Or are you looking to Jesus to define who you're becoming?

Where has God given you influence? You have influence somewhere—at work, in your neighborhood, with your family. How are you using that influence to point people toward Jesus?

At Neighborhood Church, our mission is simple: inviting our neighbors to meet and follow Jesus. That happens in the everyday places God has put you. A few weeks ago, we encouraged everyone to start praying regularly for three groups of people: spiritual wanderers who are far from God, those who are spiritual companions on the journey of following Jesus, and those who are spiritual leaders. If you missed that, you can find a helpful prayer guide here to get started.

The question is: Who are you praying for? Because we won't see any spiritual growth in ourselves or others unless God does the work. And it starts with asking.

One final thought

In a world that fights with arrogance and deceit, we triumph through meekness and integrity. That's not just taking the high road or being the bigger person. It's following Jesus' example—bringing true correction with humility and extending grace even to those who attack our character.

Christians shouldn't occupy space on the internet—or anywhere else—the same way as everyone else. We're ambassadors of Christ in every place we go.

So today, consider: Whose approval are you living for? Because there's only one opinion that ultimately matters, and the good news is, Jesus isn't looking for perfection—He's looking for hearts that are willing to follow Him.